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The Study of What If: Question of The Week
 

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▣ What’s love got to do with it?

posted by admin on July 5th, 2009 at 12:28 PM

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“You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.”

Henry Drummond

 

The short and perfect answer to this question is, “love has everything to do with it.”  However, because we are human beings, short and perfect answers usually give us reasons to stay the same rather than to look inside, let go, and grow, so we will expand on the question. 

“You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love.”

Henry Drummond

 

The short and perfect answer to this question is, “love has everything to do with it.”  However, because we are human beings, short and perfect answers usually give us reasons to stay the same rather than to look inside, let go, and grow, so we will expand on the question. 

 

What is love?

In his book, Love or Perish, Dr. Smiley Blanton has stated that “the greatest human need is the need for love, and that none of us can survive without it. Man must have love in his life in some form or he will perish. Love is the greatest power on earth.”

 

How we define love says a lot about us. 

  • If we define love as something missing in our lives, we give ourselves an excuse to fail or to feel inferior, unlovable, unable to cope, and so on…for example, if only I could find the right partner, he/she would define me/complete me and my life would be perfect; or, if only you loved me, I would feel secure and happy; or, if only I were prettier/smarter/richer, my life would be whole and you wouldn’t treat me this way; etc.
  • If we define love by how others treat us, we give ourselves the excuse to hold others responsible for our self-worth/self-esteem/self-respect…for example, if you buy me flowers, you love and value me; or, if you forget my birthday, you do not love or value me; or, if you don’t spend enough money on my flowers or birthday gift, you do not value me so you don’t love me or you don’t love me enough so I must not be lovable or valuable to you; etc.
  • If we offer our love as a weapon, we try to force others to accept our choices rather than their own…for example, if you loved me, you would take me on an expensive vacation/buy me expensive jewelry; or, if you loved me, you would make sure I have a new car/house/clothes; or, if you loved me, you would give up your __(fill in the blank)__ to prove your love; etc.
  • If we hold others prisoner, we use love to manipulate for our own benefit…for example, I will love you if you do what I ask; or I will love you more if you do this; or I will stop loving you if you disappoint me; etc.

 

If we examine love from a perspective of “having/being” rather than “not having/looking for,” we can add a new dimension to our lives…

“Those who bitterly declare that their lives are without love are mistakenly looking to someone or something outside themselves for love. Begin realizing now that love is first within you and can be released through your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions. As you begin developing love from within outward, you are truly proving your method to be

spiritual, scientific, and satisfying. You no longer feel at the mercy of people, situations, or conditions. You become the master of your world and free from hurt, fear, disappointment, and disillusionment.” 

Catherine Ponder, The Prospering Power of Love, Unity Books, 1966

 

In fact, what if WE ARE LOVE?   What if the love we are looking for outside ourselves actually exists within us?   What if our true nature is love? 

We are Spiritual Beings experiencing through a physical body.   Our journey is to recognize that we are the love that we are searching for.   Our challenge is to recognize ourselves as love, to trust it, and to allow it to flow in, around, and through us.  As we release this love energy, we allow it ultimately to dissolve our fears, to help us understand and learn from our personal defeats, and to develop a vision of ourselves through this love rather than through the self-image we have developed through the expectations of our lives with its up’s and down’s, our family’s dynamics, our friends, magazines, television, etc.  

 

“The security you seek is within. It comes from seeing yourself as beautiful,…  It’s the act of self-love -- the acceptance, detachment, and forgiveness of self. It’s where you wake up and remember that you are not the spotty-faced teenager who was ridiculed and shunned; you are a powerful, eternal spirit, imbued with the Christ consciousness, and here with a mission to fulfill and lessons to learn – a spirit of infinite honor and integrity that has a connection to all the knowledge that exists.” (Stuart Wilde, The Little Money Bible, “The Law of Love, Compassion, and Money,” Hay House, 2003)

 

Your role in this journey is to dare to release this love from within yourself…

  • First, recognize that you do love yourself – not a narcissistic love, but a love imbued of a spiritual self-respect.  
  • From this recognition, release, nurture and expand this love by letting go of your old hurts, old fears, old ideas/beliefs of what you lack or what you think you should look like, what you should be, of how smart you are or are not, and on and on. 
  • Keep in mind that your statements/beliefs about love actually keep you and all those you hold dear to you a prisoner of your statements/beliefs.   As you become consciously aware of and release/balance these limiting statements/beliefs about love, you gain the tremendous power of choice.  Then, as you send this love out to the world, you are able to release yourself and everyone you have tried to hold prisoner or manipulate with your statements/beliefs about love  
  • With the realization that the love you searched for outside yourself actually exists within you, you are free to release your disappointments, anger, and frustration related to all those who have failed to meet your expectations; and, finally, you are free to forgive everyone who up to this moment has made you feel unlovable or unloved. 
  • AND, of course, start this journey by forgiving yourself!

 

Daily affirmation for this week…

”Divine love, expressing through me, now draws to me all that is needed

to make me happy and my life complete.”

Catherine Ponder

“I love all people and all people love me, without attachment.”   Catherine Ponder

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