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▣ Love Me Tender...Part 2. Forgiveness

posted by admin on May 16th, 2010 at 3:07 PM

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Part 2.  Forgiveness…

Forgiveness and fear often times are connected, i.e., we find ourselves facing a fear we have had for most or all of our life because it manifests through a relationship or event in our life OR we develop a fear as an outcome to some relationship or event in our life (acquired fear). 

Part 2.  Forgiveness…

Forgiveness and fear often times are connected, i.e., we find ourselves facing a fear we have had for most or all of our life because it manifests through a relationship or event in our life OR we develop a fear as an outcome to some relationship or event in our life (acquired fear).  Examples of acquired fears include…

·   Your marriage ends in divorce, so now you are afraid to date or fall in love again.  You just keep reliving the marriage with all its ups, downs, and hurtful moments, reviewing the why’s, what if’s, if only’s, etc. 

·   You slip on the ice, fall, and have a miscarriage, so now you are afraid to try again to have a baby because you feel responsible and it hurt so bad to lose the child.

·   You were raised to think that women are weak and should be quiet and reserved, so you are angry because you let others take the lead when you know that you could do the job just as well and often better; but the fear of appearing too strong overtakes you and you remain quiet.

·   You got laid off when the economy turned bad and now you are deep in debt, the bank foreclosed on your house, and, as a result, you live with your daughter and are not even looking for a job; just complaining about how unfair your old company was after 19 years as their faithful employee.  You are frozen.

Acquired fears are very personal.  You may try to share an acquired fear with your closest friend, e.g., “My husband cheated on me.  I am afraid there is something wrong with me and the next man I marry will do the same.”   Then your friend responds with, “why are you fearful about that?  You are a great person.  Any man would be blessed to have you!”  Unfortunately, you just accept that your friend is trying to be nice to you and make you feel better, so you just completely reject his/her answer.  You can only relate to the marriage break-up through the emotion you now own about what happened to you and the fear that it will happen again.

Each time you acquire a fear, you leave a piece of your Spirit attached to the memory that created it.   As a result, as long as you own this fear/memory/belief about yourself, you continue to finance it by giving it your attention/energy.  You need 100% of your energy to be a complete person; and better than 50% just to maintain some level of health.  If you are tired, unhealthy, in a bad/depressed mood most of the time, you are undoubtedly financing many fears, memories, unfinished business, and/or beliefs about yourself.

Forgiveness is a powerful tool.  It calls your Spirit back from all those places where you have left pieces of it.   Practicing forgiveness in relationship to a fear is like being released from a prison – the prison that fear holds you in. 

In the examples above:

·   Marriage ending in divorce…Forgive your ex-spouse; as a matter of fact, send your ex-spouse a “thank you” note.  Now, forgive yourself!!!  The only thing that holds you prisoner now is fear. Get yourself out of prison (step through the fear) and go out and meet lots of people; have fun!  You have been set free. 

·   Miscarriage…You slipped on ice; it was an accident.  Forgive yourself.  

·   Weak women…Forgive the origin of your belief (parents/teachers/whomever); then forgive yourself for accepting it.  Now, show them how strong you are.

·   Lost your job… Forgive yourself for sliding into your JAR (unconscious) that holds your conviction that you were hired for life.  Step through your fear of being unemployable, too old, or afraid of it happening again.  Believe that you are valuable!   For heaven’s sake, go back to school, start an exercise program, join a club.  Get off the couch!

When we have perceived that someone has done something wrong or unloving to us or that we have done something wrong or unloving to someone else, and we hold onto the feelings associated with this perception, we deny ourselves love. 

NEXT WEEK, Part 3.  Love

 

last edited on June 13th, 2010 at 6:56 PM

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