▣ What about those what if's?
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Ok, I know that it seems as if when something turns out to have different results than we expected or desired, or when we are planning on doing/obtaining something, “what if’s” seem terribly important. So, why do I emphasize letting go of what if’s? I will venture to explain because I know that in our jars we have become addicted to using what if’s in the way we use salt on our food.
When we evoke the term, “What if?” diffferent things happen…
When we evoke the term, “What if?” diffferent things happen…
1. We question – when we question is good if we use the question and actually examine the context related to the what if. Say, we are trying to decide whether to purchase a new car. We could devise a lot of what if’s in this scenario. What if we cannot find the car we want; what if we cannot afford a new car? What if we buy a new car, have a car payment, and find out we cannot afford it? And on and on. The challenge in this situation is that though they take us in the right direction with questions that need to be addressed, the what if’s can conjure up our fears/beliefs about the new car and actually corrupt our answers (if we even take it so far as to answer all of our what if’s). And, most times, if we are working out of our jars, we ignore the value of our what if’s anyway and either use them as an excuse to not move forward or we just do what we want without thinking about the implications of our choice(s).
2. We question – when we question after we have bought the car with questions like, what if we bought the wrong car? what if we had bought a cheaper car, then we would be able to afford it? what if we had waited until the end of the year and gotten a better price? These what if’s are toxic because they are telling you that you are thinking that you made a mistake and/or the new car did not make you feel good in the way you thought it would; thus, the energy drain begins and it costs you energy which most times is more expensive than dollars. These are the what if questions that should be addressed prior to purchasing the car (preventative care so to speak).
3. What if can conjure up new ideas/inventions. This is good if you can take your what if idea and create from it. I am confident to say that most inventions started out as a “what if.” Too many times though we day dream what if’s such as what if I were a millionaire? what if I were beautiful? what if I were…? Though day dreaming can be a first step to creating something, too often we get caught up in our what if day dreams and energize beliefs about ourselves, such as I am poor (what if I were a millionaire); I am ugly (what if I were beautiful); I am… (what if I were…)? If you want to be a millionaire, your first step should be to affirm, I am wealthy!
4. We use what if’s to give us excuses to avoid doing something; for example, what if I fail? what if I am not good enough? what if it rains? what if I am wrong? We immediately go to our jars and find our fears about whatever it is we are facing and then substantiate our what if’s and subsequently use our what if’s to avoid moving forward. Our what if excuses take over; too many times keeping us from doing something that could make our lives better.
5. We use what if’s to deal with the discomfort of our decisions. What if I had only listened to my mother, then I would not be in this situation? what if I had not bought this new pair of shoes, then I would have money to buy lunch today? what if I had waited to get married until I was 45, then I would be happy? And on and on. The result, energy drain. You already did the deed, so now you should deal with the effect (Law of Cause and Effect); you should not be lamenting what if’s. You need the energy to handle the situation now.
What to do…
My suggestion is to take your what if’s and examine them. What does the what if you are using tell you about yourself. In the example of purchasing a new car…
1. What if we cannot afford a new car? My suggestion here is to skip the what if and change it to, “we can afford this amount of $ for a new car.” Be honest about what you can afford. Also, keep in mind the not so apparent costs that go with owning a car; e.g., car insurance, tune-ups/car repairs, gasoline, and so on. Knowing up front what you can pay each month sends a message to the Universe to start looking for a car that you can purchase for the amount you can pay.
2. What if we cannot find the car we want? My suggestion is to sit down with a piece of paper and list the items you desire in a car, i.e., color, model, gas mileage, extras, and so on. Create a picture of what you desire. If you cannot create this image, then it is not the right car or it could be that it is not the right time to buy a car. With an image of what you want, the Universe then knows where to start.
3. What if we buy a new car, have a car payment, and find out we cannot afford it? This becomes mute if you honestly answered the first question and purchased a car that kept you in the area of what you can pay. If you skipped the first question, then take responsibility for your predicament and do what you have to do to either make the payments or sell the car. (This “do what you have to do,” however, does not include robbing banks.)
4. I know, what if I lose my job, or I get ill and cannot work, or …? This is one of those what if’s that can cripple us. If we lived our lives always thinking about this question, we would probably be frozen in our tracks. The one answer I have here is to be prepared, saving enough $ to cover your expenses for a few months. Then, have faith that you are taken care of. Feeding a negative what if can create the exact fear that you have attached to it. Also, we cannot avoid our life’s challenges and opportunities. Sometimes we can do all the right things and still find ourselves without a job, ill, or in a quandary. We must keep the faith that “this too will pass.”
Opportunity Knocking - Transform your “What if” (IWWMI)
Then there is the opportunity of using your “what if” in a transformative way…
Transform your what if thought-form and language: Whenever you’ve experienced difficult or even negative what if thought-forms, view the thought-form as a gift and make it a transformative opportunity by completing the following, “In What Way Might I (IWWMI) ______________________ (fill in the blank)?”
The example of: The car I purchased is too expensive for me. Here are some examples of the transformative process: (a) in what way might I increase my flow of wealth to cover the cost of this new car?; (b) in what way might I improve my budgeting and financial approaches to all my expenses?; or (c) in what ways might I see this as a valuable learning experience for me and how can I use this new learning in the future?
The example of: What if I lose my job and can’t pay my bills. Here are some examples of the transformative process: (a) in what way might I improve my budgeting and financial approaches to insure a comfortable economic margin; (b) in what way might I improve my education and/or skills to ensure my employability; (c) in what way might I benefit from the loss of this current job?
The greatest advantage of a “what if” is that you get prepared. Preparation is always good. You know, “what if it rains?” – have an alternative planned if it rains, but don’t cancel your plans because it might rain. “What if I am not good enough?” – Try anyway – you may surprise yourself when you see how good you are. “What if I am too old or too young?” – If there is not a law pertaining to age, then go for it. Young/old is in your jar. “I am poor” – “what if I cannot afford college?” – See yourself attending college, start saving $ (even if it is just pennies at first as this is seed money), look into loans and scholarships; then study and do your best in school as this will set the groundwork for college. A good foundation calls out for the building.
Take your what if’s and make them work for you.
Turn the what if’s that ask questions into answers AND
release and let go of the what if’s that rob your energy and keep you stuck.