▣ Sometimes I feel as if I have sold myself out...
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Ever feel as if you have sold yourself out?
Well, surprise, you have! Unconsciously most of the time, and sometimes on purpose. For example, those times when you really despised your job, but you got a paycheck so you stayed; those times when you stayed in a bad relationship because you were afraid of taking care of yourself or you thought no one else would want you; those times you negotiated for something, and gave up some part of yourself to get it; those times when you convinced yourself if you only did it just this one time and you never did it again, all would be okay! Ok, I am not just picking on you. Most, probably all, human beings do it.
Why do we do it?
There are many reasons why we do it. Some include…
· We think we have to.
· We desire the result so much or we need the result (paycheck/relationship) so much that we do it.
· The payoff is substantial enough that we convince ourselves that we will just do it this one time.
· We have seen others do it and so it seems okay for us to do it (a herd or pack behavior).
· The first time we do it, it may feel very uncomfortable; but subsequent times we do it, it starts to feel normal and we then just create the habit of doing it (a learned behavior).
The last bullet says it all because here is where the behavior becomes normal and we lose sight of the cause and effect of our actions. Living unconsciously does not relieve us of the Law of Cause and Effect. When we start to receive our lessons (the effect of cause and effect), we then can develop the attitude that the world is always giving us the short-end of the stick up our derrière to handle; when, in effect, it is our stuff coming back to us as learning experiences.
Life is a journey and on this journey we are given images of ourselves (the Law of Reflection). These images are delivered to us through our relationships with our families, best friend(s), worst enemies, our bank accounts, our homes, our jobs, our fears, our lovers, our (fill in the blank for your life).
What do we do when we are faced with our effects delivered to us from family/friends/work/etc.?
We get caught up in the dynamics of our relationships and expend all our energy trying to fix or be angry at the messenger when we would benefit greatly from looking straight at ourselves to see what we can learn and release and let go (through love, forgiveness, trust, and wisdom). Keep in mind that we are here to learn, to grow, to become enlightened. When we turn inward and examine our lives from the inside out, we can discover that our world/life is a creation of what is in our jars (the unconscious). Our world/life mirrors to us what we need to do to release, to let go, and to grow!
It is normal to react and get angry/hurt/frustrated/sad/etc.; but then before you say/do something to mess up your relationships, take a deep breath and examine what it is within you (what beliefs, behaviors, fears, etc.) that this situation is reflecting to you. Then, do something about it so that you can move forward in your life. Before you attack the messenger, look inward! When you heal yourself, the messenger will have no power over you and the message will resonate differently with you, that is, change to an open dialogue of improved communications.
Back to the Prostitute
We must also examine how we get others to prostitute themselves to us for our own benefit(s). Examples include making a deal with someone that if they do something for us, we will reciprocate; or we threaten someone that we will do such and such to them or someone they care about if they do not do what we ask; we use our power to get someone to do something they are uncomfortable doing or we give them payment/reward to do what we want.
I know that you are now becoming more aware of your self-destructive behavior, prostitution, and vowing never to be taken advantage of again or to do something you dislike. But stop! You have missed the point; this is not about saying “NO” to each and every itch you feel when another person asks you to do some task or to help them out. It is about being conscious of your choices, being flexible in your choices, and being responsible for your choices.
Remember the Law of Cause and Effect and the Law of Reflection. Remember that as you travel the road of your life, truly, the only person you meet or experience is YOU! If you desire to change your life, the change must start with getting to know you and what is contained in your jar! Then make decisions about what you are ready to release and let go, and DO IT!
Release and let go!
Live a peaceful and more meaningful life!