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"The greatest of victories is the victory over oneself."
The foundation of our life is built by the qualities of the beliefs we contain in our jars (our subconscious). As a result of this, the foundation upon which we rely and judge our lives and from which we get feedback about how happy, successful, rich/poor, smart, good/bad, etc., is built on shaky (at best) footing.
Why? Because our jars are containers of all the rules (beliefs) we have derived from the beliefs we have been endowed with from our family upbringing (we carry on the familial rules), our religion and its rules, our national identity and its rules; and our life experiences, fears, doubts, etc. From the time we are born, we have been indoctrinated into the family, religion, government, etc., by reward and punishment. We were rewarded if we agreed; we were punished if we did not follow the rules. It is very hard to release these rules we hold in our jars because we think we believe them and we are afraid of punishment if we do not follow them. I must say here though that before we start to play victim and blame our parents, etc., for all the stuff in our jars, keep in mind that they were only doing what they were indoctrinated to do and had our best interest in mind (most of the time anyway). Along with planting seeds of beliefs, they planted some really great seeds; e.g., they taught us how to walk, they cared for us until we were ready to take care of ourselves, they sent us to school to learn arithmetic and how to read and write, they taught us when it was safe to cross the street, they took us to the doctor when we were ill, they took us on vacation so that we could experience fun, etc. There is lots of really good stuff in our jars too. It’s the fear based beliefs/rules that hold us back; the fear of doing it wrong, so we do not even try; the low self-esteem that keeps us from loving ourselves and others; the fear of doing something outside the rules of the family, religion, heritage, etc., that keeps us from stepping out and doing something we really want to do because we are afraid of losing the family (etc.) approval. Get to know what is in your jar – get to know the rules you live by.
Things change, rules can change! You are a new person every moment of the day, yet, you spend a lifetime living by the rules you had 10, 20, 30, and more years ago. No wonder most of us are walking around exhausted. It takes a lot of energy to deal with the beliefs/rules in our subconscious that govern our conscious life without our awareness that they are even the driving force and creative force behind our lives. If you were heading North, would you like to be driving your car North while your head is turned around facing South so that you are only able to see where you have been and not where you are going? Most people do not like backing up a car, let alone driving forward while looking out the rear window (the rear window representing your past/the front window representing your future). Yet, this is how we live our lives – being driven by our beliefs/rules of the past unconsciously directing the course we are traveling into our future. How can you see where you are going? Your only view is from where you came from. What if the road has changed? What if there is a huge pot hole in your path? Turn your head around and see where you are going and YOU decide how you are getting there without fear of making a mistake or failing or being punished, but with anticipation of a great adventure – one in which you can experience and learn new and wonderful things.
Sometimes it seems that the mind is in constant turmoil.
It's always racing from project to problem, keeping us busy, making us stressed.
To be able to still the mind, to find that calm and quiet place within,
is a true victory, one that rewards us with health, happiness, and peace of mind.
- Lissa Coffey
last edited on September 26th, 2009 at 8:02 PM