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▣ Part 1. Making a Decision

posted by admin on July 27th, 2009 at 11:17 AM

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I am restless and would like to move, but I am afraid of making the wrong decision about moving.  What should I do?

 

Part 1.  Keep in mind that when it comes to making any and all choices in your life…

 

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A RIGHT OR WRONG CHOICE IN LIFE.


The idea that we make right or wrong choices/decisions is based...

I am restless and would like to move, but I am afraid of making the wrong decision about moving.  What should I do?

 

Part 1.  Keep in mind that when it comes to making any and all choices in your life…

 

THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A RIGHT OR WRONG CHOICE IN LIFE.


The idea that we make right or wrong choices/decisions is based on a scale of measurement that gives us feedback about our decisions and the results of said decisions.  The final interpretation of whether a decision was right or wrong is often based on how immediately comfortable or uncomfortable the outcome is and then the decision maker is either rewarded or punished (that is, feels remorse) based on this interpretation.   Most of the time, we cannot/do not know for years whether a decision was right or wrong/good or bad.  If we all had the hindsight we develop on reflections we have in the future to help us interpret our choices of today, we would be able to make a more accurate immediate interpretation.  Without the benefit of hindsight, if our decision brings about an immediate comfortable result, then we are rewarded by deciding that our decision was right/good and we feel happy with ourselves.  If our decision ends in an uncomfortable result, we decide that our decision was wrong and we beat ourselves up for making it; when, in fact, it could be the best decision for us, but we will only know sometime in the future how good a decision it was.  Thus, we have created an illusion that there are such things as right or wrong decisions and this illusion gives us an excuse to avoid making a decision, gives us stress about making decisions, and can prolong our circumstances because we are afraid and so we do not make a decision.  Our decision making illusions have been indoctrinated into us throughout our earlier years, for example, in school we are taught that there is a “right answer” and a “wrong answer.”

 

What is important is not what you decide, but why you decide it.   The “why” for most of our decisions in life are not really a matter of right or wrong, but are a matter of our search for, finding, and obtaining our goals/desires and doing things that we value and/or find personally satisfying.   Of significant importance when making our decisions are our motivations and our private agendas.  These are the processes through which we pour either our positive or negative energy/beliefs/desires/rewards/punishments.  

 

Another and really important aspect of avoiding making a decision/choice is that of accountability/responsibility.   When we contemplate the reward/punishment aspect of decision making, we have to address responsibility for the decision.  Most people would prefer to play the role of victim rather than take on the blame for and the resulting liabilities associated with the results of the choice made.  Fear of responsibility is a major obstacle challenging the decision maker.   By accepting responsibility for our up’s and down’s, our happiness/sadness, our decisions/choices, …, we open up a whole new world to our lives.  The fear of responsibility can cripple our movement in any direction in our lives and, thus, stagnation takes over.   Be responsible for your life, and see the wonderful opportunities that will present themselves when you do!

 

For example, if you are deciding to move from Los Angeles (LA) to New York (NY), why do you desire to move?

  • Is it because you are running away from something/someone?   You can run from something/someone, however, be assured that you will be faced with similar circumstances or persons no matter where you run to.  It is best to face this circumstance or person where you are now and bring balance to the issue(s) you are facing with it/him/her.  After you have done this, then move if you still desire to.
  • Is it because you are running to something/someone?  This is typically the same as running away from something/someone because we convince ourselves that our lives will be better if …; when, in fact, our lives would really be better if we just faced the circumstances we are running from.  The grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence, but regardless of where the grass is greener, you will still need to take care of the grass because if you do not, the green grass will wither and turn brown too; and no matter where you have run to, you will be faced with the same responsibilities; that is, you have to face your lessons, learn them, and then move on.

 

Also, I have found that if a desire (in this example, moving from LA to NY) is not in one’s best interests and/or let’s consider a possibility that living in Los Angeles is necessary for our personal development, then we could certainly make the choice to move from LA to NY and attempt to move, but rest assured that if that move were not in our best interests, circumstances will keep us from moving or even make New York so uncomfortable that we will end up moving back to Los Angeles. 

 

OR if we are supposed to move out of Los Angeles, and we decide to stay put because we are afraid of changing living environments or leaving friends, or whatever our fear is,  I can assure you that because we chose to stay out of fear and lack of faith, the heavens will make our familiar living environment completely unfulfilling.  And at some point, we will have to move to maintain our sanity, life, health, or quality of life.

 

MAKING NO DECISION IS A DECISION!

 

When you do - and you will - find yourself at a crossroad in your life, remind yourself that when you cannot yet sense what you perceive as guidance on major issues facing you, make one choice that changes something else in your life.   Change a daily routine, choose to start a walking or exercise routine, choose to read a book that makes you feel good, take a few days off, or clean out your closet (symbolic of cleaning the psyche).  

 

REMEMBER that every choice has power even the choice you make “by not making a choice,” so why would you allow yourself to be the victim?

 

Make a decision – if the outcome does not work, then make another decision.  When you make a decision, you create movement.  The movement is taking you somewhere, both in your conscious world and in your unconscious world. 

 

Keep in mind that...

Being stagnant keeps you stuck – stuck in your jar!    

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